3 Years Later

I happened to look at things tonight and realized I have not updated since March 3, 2012 - the 1yr mark of the surgery...

Since then, a lot has happened...
(1) I am more at peace with my body. Knowing I will never have another baby stinks, but it is not the end of the world. My older sister just gave birth to their first 2.5mths ago. I was sad because I always wanted to be pregnant with my sisters (my plan, NOT His), but that was it. The rest was pure joy!
(2) The pain is still present. I have been to doctors, had nerve blocks, tried nerve meds, etc, all to no avail. Recently, I visited with many specialists and sub-specialists at Mayo Clinic here in Jacksonville. All agreed that my pain is a direct result of the hernia repair and some trauma during the  hysterectomy.
(3) I have been able to help many other young people who needed to go through this. With that, I have made many friends and felt like I was able to help and support them from a young persons point of view.
(4) I never realized that your uterus supports your lower internal organs. Without it, you can develop different 'celes.' I have a grade 2 cystocele and a grade 3 rectocele. These can be corrected through surgery, but until I can't take it anymore, I will make the most of it and live with it!
(5) My husband and kiddos are incredible. There have been hard times over these past 3 years, but we have always been there for me. I could not ask for anything better!

This is about it. Issues still remain, but I am constantly reminded it is His plan and not mine!

5 months. . .

It is hard to believe that it has been 5 months since my hysterectomy. It has been 5 months of trust, faith, hardship, sorrow, joy, and so many other emotions that I did not expect. . .

Here is a recap of all that has happened:

• Thursday, March 3, 2011 @ 0730: my surgery
• Saturday, March 5, 2011: I received my first ever blood transfusion, but not because of the surgery. . .
  
• Tuesday, March 8, 2011 @ 1800: I come home. . . only 4 days late!
• Monday, March 14, 2011: My First 'Bad' Day where I learned that I was not ready for anything!
• Thursday, March 17: 2 weeks post-op and I finished my Lovenox Injections!
• Wednesday, March 23: Seriously, I can't pee!?!?!?
• Friday, March 25: Meet with the urologist and am drilled about why I had to have a hysterectomy at 28. . . a very hard/emotional day and I still have a catheter. . .
• Saturday, March 26: I CAN PEE!!!!!!
• Tuesday, March 29: BIG Slide in the wrong direction. . .
• Wednesday, March 30: 4 Weeks Post-Op doctor appointment. . .
• Friday, April 1: 3 simple letters --- PMS!
• Monday, April 4: A few complications, but I got the okay to travel to MS for my sister's wedding!
• Tuesday, April 12: Back to the urologist because I am having trouble peeing again. . .
• Wednesday, April 13: 6 weeks out and back to pajamas. . .
• Monday, April 18: The pain was increasing with any and all activity. . . Really wondering if this will ever end. . .
• Saturday, April 23: Oh, the crying just does not stop!
• Tuesday, April 26: The ever so dreaded 'are you pregnant?'
• Saturday, April 30: GEEZ ~ My hormones are worse now then they were during pregnancy!
• Sunday, May 1: I was diagnosed with Illioinguinal Neurologia and underwent a nerve block. . . it helped. . .for a bit!
  
• Tuesday, May 3: 2 months out. . . WOW. . . I never thought this day would come!
• Monday, May 16: Intense pain and bleeding send me to the ER. After a few hours, I was sent home on 'bed rest'
• Tuesday, May 24: 12 weeks out. . . plus a list of "I wish I had known's"
• Tuesday, May 31: 3 months out. . . there is no way I could have made it this far without my husband and best friend. . .
• Tuesday, June 7: My first visit with the chiropractor. . . and it hurt!
• Monday, June 20: I made an appointment with a top notch pain med doc. . . August 8 will not be here soon enough. . . AND, I want to teach NFP!!!
  
• Friday, June 24: The chiropractor was causing more pain then comfort, so the mutual decision was made to stop going. . . very mixed emotions to this. . .
• Thursday, July 28: One year ago today, I had the first *serious* conversation about a hysterectomy. . .
• Wednesday, August 3: Well, 5 months ago today I lost a part of me. 5 months ago today, I forever changed. 5 months ago today, I said farewell to the first bed that all of my children have ever known. 5 months ago today, I became a stronger woman. A stronger mother. A stronger wife. 5 months ago. . .

I never thought that this journey would be what it has become. I thought that I had my age in my favor, that this would be a simple surgery and then a simple recovery, but like everything else that has occurred these past 2 years, I was wrong. But in the process of everything falling apart, I have learned and grown SO much. I have rekindled old friendships and made new ones. I have redefined my role as wife and mom, sister and daughter. These past 5 months have been hard, but if I had to do it again, I would not change anything. . .

THE Test

This past week, I had a doctors appt where they needed to know prior if I was pregnant. The nurse led me to a bathroom where the container was and told me to leave it on the shelf when I was done. I, knowing what this was for, told her that it was not necessary because I had a hysterectomy 139 days prior. For the next 35 minutes, she and I spoke about this. . .

Of course, there were the standard questions of why? Who? Where? But she also keyed into a very important part of it that is so often overlooked. She asked me how I was dealing with this emotionally. . . The only people that ask me how I am are those that suffer from infertility. Others just make mention of how nice it is to not have to walk down 'that' aisle anymore. What those do not understand is that I would love to walk down 'that' aisle again. To have 'that' problem. 'That Problem' is something that I miss greatly, but like I have said before, 'that problem' was a true problem for me. . .

Another Month. . .

As May ends and June begins, I am filled with many different and varying emotions. This journey has had so many twists and turns and ups and downs that were never expected. There are a few things that I hold onto, and even though my emotions are all over the place, I know the following to be true:

• That God knows all of this. He, and only He, knows when the nerve pain will end. He knew that a total hysterectomy would happen when I was only 28. He knew all of the complications that would occur.
• That my husband will stand by my side. That our vows of in better and worse, in sickness and in health would truly be put to the test these past 27 months. And although this can and does put a strain on us, we are learning to work through it and, praise God, we are coming out stronger than ever!
• That my faith and trust would falter. That I would question the why behind it all. That I would feel anger and resentment for the path that was chosen for me. But in the end, God will help me see the light and those feelings do not last for long.
  
• That my heart would ache one minute and be glad the next. And not glad in regards to my infertility, but glad that I am no longer plagued with all of the other issues that were present just 3 short months ago.
• That my need/desire to help other women appreciate the gift of their fertility would become a priority.
• That nothing will go as planned.
  

In all, it has been a trying 3 months, with this month being one of finding answers to the problems. Trying to figure out what is causing the pain and then creating the solution. Next month, we will begin the chiropractic care in hopes that it will help with the nerve pain and break up the scar tissue. So, onward we go in the hope to find answers. . .

(Me and the kiddos!)

Could this be it?!?!

I had my meet and greet with the Chiropractor today. After he took my history and performed his exam, he told me that he believes that he can help with the nerve pain! During his exam, he noticed that there was a lot of tightness in the lower right quadrant, which is most likely scar tissue from the 3 c-sections and the other other abdominal surgeries. The doc is wanting to use a technique called Active Release to break up the scar tissue and help loosen the muscles. According to him, it will take about 2-3 sessions a week for about a month to get over this. . .

I left there feeling like there was light at the end of this tunnel, much like I did after my first appointment with the pain doc. But, while I am feeling hopeful, I am trying to not get my hopes up in case this does not work. Now, do not think that I am thinking negatively, I am just tired of having my hopes crushed. My prayer is that this will work and I feel certain that this will, but I have moments where I become scared that will not work and I will be left hurting again. As soon as they come though, I try to put those moments of doubt aside, and remember that this could be the answer and the solution to the pain that has been going on for so long. . .

I return in a week and a half for my first appointment and we are anxiously awaiting it. . . One of the great things about this guy is that he has night appointments so Daddy can spend some quality time with the kiddos! All around there are positives. All around things are seeming to work out in the way that they are meant to. I can truly see things happening and it is incredible. . . My faith has been renewed and I feel strong in mind, body, and spirit once again!

12 week Progress Report (Some TMI)

I can hardly believe that in just over a week, it will be 3 months since the surgery. I must say that all of my pre-op fears of feeling less of a woman, less of a wife, less of a mother were incorrect. I am absolutely no less of a mother, wife, woman than I was 3 months ago. . . And, all of the physical issues I was battling prior have all diminished! The only remaining issue is that stubborn nerve, which is secondary to the primary issue and, I pray, will be resolved soon. . .

I do wish that I had been told quite a few things prior. So for anybody facing a hysterectomy, here are some things I wish I had been told about that I personally experienced:

• Fatigue! There will be a lot of it and it will last for quite a while ~ I still must take a 'rest' midday.

• Urinating can be very difficult and painful. You may experience some very painful bladder spasms, so do not let you bladder fill up.

• Having a BM in the beginning is incredibly painful as all of those structures have been manipulated and man handled!

• Your belly will swell. Make sure to have plenty of elastic waisted clothes and/or dresses. And just when you think you have passed that point, it will come back full swing!
  

• No matter how careful you are, you will gain weight.

• You will experience many dramatic mood swings even if you have 1 or 2 ovaries remaining.

• If your cervix is removed, you will notice a change in odor and discharge when the cuff stitches dissolve. And it can be unpleasant! (At 12 weeks, I am still waiting for 1 to completely dissolve. . . Frustrating!)
  

• Regardless of the cervix, you might experience sharp, almost stabbing pains in your vagina. They will take your breath away. . . Even at 12 weeks out, I still have this!
  

• Because of the change in PH with a hysterectomy, you might experience many yeast infections which you can not treat with external creams only pills!

• Nausea ~ I experienced this for the first 7 weeks post-op. . UGH!

• It takes up to 1 year for your body to completely heal from a hysterectomy! I have spoken to many women who have had the 'swelly belly' and fatigue for a year or more. . . I sure hope that mine does not last nearly that long!!!
  

In the end, I am grateful that I had it. Like I stated earlier, all of my issues prior have been completely resolved. The pain from the endometriosis and adenomyosis are gone along with all of the awfulness associated with them. No more periods that require a blood transfusion afterward. No more of so many things that I need to be thankful for and that I need to focus on. . . Now onto that stubborn nerve!

Still Waiting. . .

Well, so far, this nerve block has not worked like the other. I am having very little relief from it thus far. My sincerest prayer is that it has just not had time to stick to the nerve, but in the back of my head, I know that we are past that 24-48 hour period. While I still hope and pray, I am trying to mentally prepare my self for surgery. For #8 in 26 months. Something that I so badly do not want, but at the same time, I can not keep on like this. . .

I feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into a depression. I can still put on my mask and hide it, but inside I am frail and weak. I am not sure just how much longer I can fake that I am okay. That I am dealing with all of this just fine. That life will go on. . .

I look at my 3 precious kiddos everyday and I thank God for them. I thank God that even though each pregnancy came with its ups and downs, that they are still here. They keep me going, day in and day out. I look at my husband and thank God that our lives intersected that fateful day in June 2002. I could not make this journey without him next to me, cheering me on. He has held my hand through each surgery over the past two years. He has wiped my tears when things did not go as planned. He told me that he loved me regardless of the hardships that I brought. With these 4 people, I wake up each morning knowing that there is a journey ahead, but a journey that I can overcome. A journey that we can overcome.

So, as I try and mentally prepare for another trip to the OR, I am reminded that I am blessed. I am reminded that I am lucky. I am reminded that I have at least 4 cheerleaders cheering me on as we all travel this journey. I am reminded that God is in charge. He knew that I would, rather that WE would have this cross to carry. He knew that in the end, we would be grateful and see the why behind all of this. . .

not so done with the surgeon. . .

I thought that I was discharged from my surgeon's care, but, go figure, I was wrong. . .

I had to return to him again today for a 'consult' as he wanted to see how the pain management was going. I also had some concerns about the cuff sutures not dissolving and other issues pertaining to my new body. We chatted for a bit and he prescribed a med (MetroGel) for the other issues. I will return to him in 4 months, sooner if more issues or concerns arise. Also, at that point, if the sutures are still in place, he will remove them.

So, I am nearly done with him, just not completely! This leaves my primary who I see every 4 weeks and my pain management doc that I see weekly in addition to the surgeon that is 4 months away. Praise God that the urologist has been taken off of the schedule and I have successfully weaned off of my smooth muscle relaxers with no problems!

Baby steps in the right direction! Baby steps to total wellness and freedom from the mass of doctors!

Waiting and Praying

I am just returning from my 2nd nerve block. There are a few things about this one that are quite different from the 1 prior. . .

1.) I was not able to answer my docs questions during this one as the sensations were SO different, not pain, just different. My right side felt this deep ache and heat like sensation. After a few moments, it felt heavy as well. . .comparable to the spinal during a c-section.

2.) My doc went "deeper" into the nerve causing my entire right leg to lose feeling, hence the sensations above! When he finished and I went to get off of the fluoroscopy table, I nearly fell flat on my face, but thankfully my doc and the tech were right there to save me. . .(I knew that my leg felt funny as I went to get off, but I thought that I could still feel it!) They brought in a wheelchair and I had to sit in that for the next 90 minutes until I was able to walk enough to get out of there! 4 hours later, it is still numb, but I am able to move it a little better. . . The great news is that until about 30 minutes ago, I felt absolutely NO pain! WOO HOO!

3.) This is the last nerve block they will give me. . .

So now, I sit patiently and wait for this one to work. It will take about 24-48 hours for the steroids to begin working. Once they do, I should get some relief and hopefully this time, it will last because if it does not, I will have to return to the OR* for the 8th time since the baby was born 26 months ago. . .

Waiting and praying is what we do for the next week until I return to the pain doc. Waiting for the steroids to work and praying that they stick. Even a simple surgery is not what I want. I do not think that I mentally could do another surgery, but physically I need relief. . . So waiting and praying. . .

*To my understanding, this surgery would be at an outpatient surgery facility. After I am sedated, they will make one, possibly two, incisions similar to that used to insert a laparoscope in order to reach the nerve. From this point, he will "freeze" the nerve to provide relief. I will go home and be pain free!

Well. . .

Well, the nerve blocked worked. Notice the past tense? I am back in a lot of pain. . .

Friday, I felt the best I have since the surgery and as a result, I overdid it. Totally overdid it. (My kiddos had their first ever camp out, so I put the tent up in the backyard. It was not hard to assemble, but hindsight is always 20/20 and I so deaperately want to be able to do everything that I once was. . . )So, I was not surprised when I was hurting a good bit Friday evening and then again Saturday and Sunday all day. Well, here we are Sunday evening, and I am hurting WORSE today then I was then, and it is the same pain. . .

I guess that the good news/bad news is that I know what the pain is. I know how to get relief, I just do not know how to keep the relief. I return to my pain doctor in a week, and I will address this with him at that point, as well as the left illioinguinal nerve area. . .

I am very grateful that I had nearly 96 hours of relief. The relief showed me what it is like to be human again. What it is like to feel like a wife and mother without laying on the couch under my heating pad like I have done for 8 weeks now. . . I actually really got dressed everyday, and not just in sweats! I feel that this will be a week of "bum" clothes and rest, and I am somewhat okay with that now. I know that there is light at the end of this tunnel although I am having trouble seeing it again right now. . .

Week 7 Post Op Appointment

I had my 7 week post op appointment. I am truly grateful that my husband was able to come with me, as I desperately needed his love and support. Also, we could not have done any of this without the help of my incredible friend and soon to be mommy, Katrina, who watched the kiddos today (and SO many other days!). Thank you to both of you as I would have been lost without either of you by my side throughout this journey. . .

My appointment was at 8:30. We went in with a list of questions and concerns. He first did his exam and was very pleased with how everything looks. Things are still healing, but I am right on track. We were all excited that at least 1 thing is going right! Then we went in with my new issue of this pain. He palpated my abdomen and asked questions. After some discussion, the decision was made for me to have a pelvic MRI and to see a pain management doctor. The process for getting all of this done has begun and we are praying that it will not be much longer as the pain is nearly unbearable.

All in all, it felt good to leave there with a plan of action. For now, we wait for the MRI and the referral to the pain management doctor. We will also pray that this will hold answers. I need to get back to normal. To not have this pain. To be the wife, mother, sister, daughter, etc that I know I can be.

Day # 48 Progress Report

It is hard to believe that it has been 48 days since my hysterectomy. 48 days since a precious part of me was removed. . .

Emotionally, these past 48 days have not been as hard as I thought. There are days where I cry over what is gone. What I will never experience again. What I wish was still a part of me. However, those days are not as often as I thought they might be. Being around women who are expecting is not difficult like I had imagined. But, being around newborns is and that is not something I was prepared for. Honestly, my biggest emotional struggle since the surgery is dealing with the complications and how they effect my spouse, children, extended family, and those close to me. I feel guilty, although I never caused any of the complications. Emotionally, I am struggling greatly with all that has not gone the way we had hoped. . .

Spiritually, these past 48 days have been eye opening. He has shown me over and over that He is in control. That this is His plan and not mine. That this recovery will take place how He wants it and not the way I do. I have found myself clinging to my faith. Clinging to the Rosary and other powerful prayers. I have also been human and have found myself, at times, questioning His will. Wondering "Why Me?" Trying to figure out why He wants me to travel this journey. What He wants of me. What He is teaching me. I am trying to stay open to this and follow His lead with wherever this may lead. . .

Physically, these past 48 days have been difficult. Very difficult. I was not expecting any complications or setbacks. When the hospital stay kept getting longer and longer, I accepted that this would be the only complications. When I came home, things were great. I hurt and was nauseated all the time, but I had just had a hysterectomy. Then as the days passed and the pain and nausea remained, I began to become more flustered. Then at week 3 post-op, I became unable to urinate. After 5 days with a foley catheter, I was finally able to potty on my own! After getting past this bump in the road, we traveled to MS, a trip that I would not have missed for any reason. This set me back in the recovery many days, maybe even a week. I was hurting a great deal. Shortly after we returned home, things went from bad to worse. I was again having trouble urinating, so I had to take more meds again. Also, my pain reached the unbearable level. Whenever I moved, it felt as if something in my lower abdomen was ripping. The pain is horrible. Thankfully, we have a plan in place to tackle this . .

So, here we are at day #48 post-op and I have so many emotions. I have learned so much about myself during this time. I have learned about the generosity of others. I have learned about true friends. I have learned just how incredible the love and support that my husband shows towards me is. I have learned how wonderful my children can be, especially when they pray for mommy's tummy to feel better. Looking back, I would have loved for this surgery to have been simple and easy, but I would not change a thing about it. Without the trials and tribulations that this surgery has provided, I would not have learned all of the lessons that I have. . .

Urologist Follow-Up

I had another follow up with my urologist today (I never thought I would have to see a pee doctor!!). . .

At our last visit, I was told to begin weaning off of the smooth muscle relaxer that I was taking to help me urinate. Well, as I was weaning off of it, I began to have trouble going to the bathroom again. So we started back on the meds to try and help with that. Also, my bladder is not emptying fully again, much like it did when all of this first began, and there are a lot of white cells that are indicative of an UTI. So, he is sending that to be cultured and will call in antibiotics if needed. . .There are lots of things to think about and try to figure out about what could possibly be going on. I return in 3 weeks where we will hopefully come up with a new plan of action!

The Downward Slide

We just returned from a fabulous trip to MS for my sister's wedding. I knew going into it, that it would be difficult, but just how difficult I did not know. I shared these concerns with my doctor and he gave me some guidelines and medication just in case. The 12 hour ride out was difficult, but doable. I made a pallet in the back and was able to lay down. We stopped frequently so that I could stretch my legs. We made a day of it. . .

That Tuesday night, as we settled into the hotel, I realized that my level of pain was increasing. This happened everyday while we were there. . . I would wake each morning with more pain than normal and by the evening, things were becoming very intense. At the rehearsal on Thursday, I had to sit for parts of it and we even left the dinner early as I was in a great deal of pain. There were times where I contemplated a trip to the ER if the pain did not ease. . .

In all, the trip was harder than I ever anticipated, even with all of the resting that I did. Even with my family and friends taking care of the kiddos and my husband meeting every one of my needs. Even with all of the precautions that I took, I still slid backwards in the recovery. Even knowing this, I would not have missed it or changed anything. My sister will be married one time and there is absolutely nothing that would have made me miss it. . .

But, I am now playing catch up. Where my energy was once growing, it is now gone. Where the pain was becoming more manageable, it now is not. Where I felt like I was making progress, I now feel like I am just standing still where I am at. . .

In hindsight, maybe it was not wise to travel 1200 miles just 4 1/2 weeks after a hysterectomy, but there is no way that I would have missed my sisters wedding. I am truly grateful to both my sister and my new brother-in-law for their kindness and understanding with all of this. Their compassion helped ease my guilt of taking away from their day. . .

The Slippery Slope. . .

As we prepare for a long car ride soon, I am beginning to realize just how hard this recovery is. I can make great improvements one day and then I pay for it in the days to come. I try to take it easy, but I guess that my idea of "taking it easy" and my body's differ drastically. . .

So, it made perfect sense when the pain and muscle spasms were becoming more intense on a daily basis towards the weeks end. Yesterday, things became so intense, that I actually called the on call doctor. Then today, it was back with a vengeance and I also began to bleed. . . I called my doc again to get his take on things. I knew that the odds were in my favor that this is just healing, but you can never be to sure. . .

The conversation was very straightforward. I told him how I was feeling, and he expressed what he was thinking. At first, he tried to tell me to stay home to which I, ever so politely, told him that the only that I would stay put, is if he admitted me to the hospital! After looking things over for a few minutes, he called me back. This time, he again gave his permission for the trip. With this permission, however, came MANY restrictions. I am having to follow the strict instructions that were present in weeks 1 - 2, rest as much as possible, get out and walk every 1-2 hours while driving to stretch my belly, and if the pain becomes severe and/or I begin to bleed again, I am to call him and then proceed to the ER.

All in all, I am grateful that I have his permission. . . It will not be an easy trip, but I now know what I need to do. There is a plan in place for the what-if's and other troubling scenarios, which greatly helps with my anxiety. Plus we are headed home and when you are not feeling well, regardless of age, your home is where you want to be!

One Month Out. . .

Today is the one month anniversary of my surgery, and I have experienced every emotion from excitement to mourning during this time. . . It has been hard and it has been easy. It has been emotionally and physically challenging. It has given my husband I a deeper appreciation and love for the other. . . He has pampered me and loved me every step of the way, taking over household duties and the child rearing without me even having to ask. . .

As I sit here and contemplate what all has occurred in the past month, I am amazed. Amazed at how my body has handled challenges and struggles. Amazed with the bond it has created between myself and my husband and family. The bond between myself and other hysterectomy friends. The bond between myself and struggling in/fertility friends. . .

In the midst of my personal storm, I am seeing God's hand! Somedays I have to look very hard through the tears and sadness and offer it all up to Him. For Him to show me the way and how I can turn this experience into something positive. . .

So, while this month has held many challenges, when I look back, I would not change a thing. . . Those challenges have helped shape who I am as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend. I look forward to the next stage of life and how He wants me to use all of this to the positive!

Good Times :-)

For the past 4 weeks, I have been looking for proof that my left ovary is working. If it chose to "shut down," like can sometimes happen, I would be forced into menopause as I can NOT take any form of hormones. . .

Well, a few days ago, I received that proof. I realized that I have PMS! Never in my 28 years, have I been so grateful for the cravings, bloating, mood swings, etc etc as I am this time. So, I am embracing this and beyond thrilled that what I thought might be hot flashes, really were not such!

I must admit though, as joyous as this was, it was SO hard at the same time. I knew that this PMS would be for nothing. That what would follow PMS, would not be happening. . . Granted, that time of the month (sorry to the men reading this!) was awful, but now, I will never have another one. . . I shared this with my doctor at my appointment on Wednesday and he made a statement that hit home. He said, "During the surgery you lost 15mL of blood, 3 tsp. That is not enough to need a blood transfusion, however your severe endometriosis, menometrorrhagia, and severe dysmenorrhea, that left you needing a transfusion. If you had not had a hysterectomy, we would have to start transfusing you more often."

So, while I am grateful that I will never need another transfusion due to my cycle and that my one ovary is working, I still mourn what is not there. . . What will never be there again. . .

Slow and Steady Wins the Race ~ 4 Week Update

I must admit, when I began this journey and finally scheduled the hysterectomy, I thought I had my age to my advantage in regards to the recovery. Surely a 28 year old would have absolutely no trouble recovering from this major surgery. . . or so I thought. . .

So, here I am, nearly 4 weeks after my surgery and I am nowhere near where I thought I would be in terms of recovery. I am still requiring medication to help with the pain. I still wear a patch behind my ear for nausea. I still must rest after almost any activity. While tremendous progress has been made, it has not been to my liking in terms of the pace. . .

While I was sharing these emotions with a lady who watched me grow up, she was quick to remind me that while I am only 28, my body has been through SO much. I have endured 6 abdominal (and 1 knee!) surgery in 24 months. I have had to have a blood transfusion and the majority of my surgeries came with complications. Simply stated, my body is tired, weak, and desperate for a break. It is evident in the amount of time that it is taking to recover. . .

Today, I went to my surgeon for a follow up. I had my list of questions and my kleenex to wipe my tears. As soon as he opened the door, the tears began to flow as I explained my frustration with this recovery. He looked at me and told me that I am much farther along in this recovery than he expected me to be. That he had to do a lot of work in my belly. That, for him, this was not an easy surgery. . . I had to pick my jaw up off of the floor! He was proud of me and impressed with this recovery that I am beyond depressed about! He did not think that I was sliding backwards. He saw all of this as steps in the right direction. . .

So, while I am not making progress as fast as I would like, it is being made faster than my doctor expected and for that, I rejoice!

26 Day Post Op Progress Report

Although huge progress has been made since Saturday, I feel like I am sliding backwards. The pain and nausea have increased and I am now getting these crazy headaches. My energy is at an all time low. If I could just sit here with my heating pad and not move, I would be a happy camper. . .

I have read in many places that weeks 3, 4, and 5 sometimes feel like you are sliding backwards, but seriously, I am 28! I am not your typical hysterectomy patient. . . I thought for sure that would not be me. . .

We are scheduled to travel in 1 week for my sisters wedding. It will be 1200+ miles roundtrip. I knew going into this surgery that there would be nothing that would keep me from attending. While I still know that I will be there, I am truly concerned about the difficulties that will surround it. Please join me in praying that during the next 7 days that my body will heal and make incredible progress. I need to not only make this trip, but also feel good while I am there.

Urology Follow-Up

I returned to the urologist this afternoon to review what was started last week. . . My bladder is working again and I am to start weaning off of my smooth muscle relaxers. My kidney's however, still appear to not be draining well and the right one is beginning to cause pain. My doctor seems to think that this will autcorrect, but gave me some guidelines as to when I will need to call him or go to the ER. If things go as planned, I will return to him in 2 weeks and re-evaluate where we are. So, all in all, a good appointment in regards to everything inside!