3 1/2 Month's Out Progress Report

Well, I am at about the 3 1/2 month mark. Looking back it seems like I had the surgery SO long ago, but then it seems like only yesterday. . .

I frequently dream about the surgery. About what must have happened. About what the doctors, nurses, and techs did to my body. I know that this hysterectomy was much needed, but in some way, after that dream, I feel almost taken advantage of. In that dream, they always take my uterus and ovary and 'give' it to another women. Was she more deserving of this gift? Did I do something shameful or undeserving and that is why it was taken away? I always wake up after that, but I desperately want to find out the why she was given this gift. Maybe one day I will be able to dream long enough to find out. . .

Physically, I am okay. I still deal with a lot of pain, but that is the nerve pain. I have also gained some weight. Those of you that know me, understand this battle, but (this is for you, Mama!) do not worry. I am dealing. I am avoiding scales like the plague and doing everything to maintain as healthy a body as I can. . . All we need is more issues! I am still losing a great deal of hair and I am hoping that this is just a result of the stress that the surgery put on my body and not a sign of menopause. My energy is not great, but I am dealing with great pain and that takes all of my energy, not to mention, I am a stay-at-home-mom! So, physically speaking, aside from the nerve, I think that things are going well. I still get strange pulls and tugs in odd places every now and then, but that is about it. . .

So, for being 15 weeks and 4 days out, I myself, am rather impressed. Although I thought the recovery would be MUCH faster than it was, I am grateful that I have been surrounded by such great family and friends. I am grateful for those that remind me that God's time is not our time and as hard as that is, we have to accept it and move on. . . And somewhere be grateful for it as everything has a reason. I can not wait to see the why this path was chosen for me. . .