Perspective

I have been thinking a lot lately about the difference between a 20 something who feels "not done" with her family versus an older, 50+ year old menopausal woman when facing a hysterectomy. . . The difference is night and day. Quality of life improves for both, but while one is raising grand kids, the other is watching her friends create and grow their families. . .

Obviously, the 'she' here is me and the other is my aunt. We both HAD to have our surgeries as there were no other options. She came home the next day and was sore for 2 days. I am 5 1/2 months out and sore does not describe the pain I still feel. She is moving on and hardly looking back at the surgery. I have good days, but have yet to have more than a few hours where I forget about this reality. The fact that her uterus is gone does not seem to bother her, yet it grieves me greatly. Even if it was never to house another life, I would still take great joy in knowing it was there. My uterus was the first home that all of my children knew. It cocooned them and cradled them. It brought forth new life.

This is all the difference in perspective that she and I have. Even my mother who thought this surgery might be in her future, was okay with the possibility and she is someone I NEVER thought would be okay with a hysterectomy. Again, the difference in knowing you are 'done' and not wanting to be done. . .

I think, however, that both of their perspectives have helped me see that this is okay. That having a hysterectomy is not the end of the world. That life goes on. That I am not less of a woman, daughter, wife, mother, sister than I was prior. . .

Que Sera, Sera