A Weighty Issue

I have eluded to it before, but now it is real and ridiculous. I have reached an unpregnant high for me. . . I am not going to give numbers as that is just too much for me to deal with, let just say, I weigh as much now as I did when I delivered Wesley. Granted, I only gained 12 pounds, but still, it is hard to swallow. Nobody else is worried or concerned, but I am horrified. I am freaking out. I am embarrassed beyond words. . .

Those that know me well, know that the scale and I do NOT get a long AT all! In fact, we are enemies. One time, I was so frustrated with the number it said, that I threw my $50 scale away! We absolutely, positively do not get along. . .

Now I know that it is normal to gain weight after a hysterectomy. That is par for the course. I hope that I would be immune from that, but I am not. I also know that with lack of activity it is normal to gain weight. Well, with my fabulous illioinguinal and genitofemoral nerves, walking around the block or even going on a bike ride are quite difficult and painful.

I long for the day when I can be active without 'paying for it.' I want so badly to move beyond this. To go on with my life. To finish God's will for me and my family, but it feels like the harder I try to move beyond the surgery, the more issues come up or refuse to dissipate.

January 2009 (5 weeks before Wes was born) / September 2011