It's Still Working!!!

I have PMS again!!!!

Even though last month I knew that my remaining ovary was working, I have still been having many symptoms of it not ~ Hot flashes, mood swings, etc etc. So, it has been in my head that maybe it was shutting down and not only would I have had a hysterectomy, but I would also be going through menopause at 28. . . NOT something that I want. . . But when I woke up this morning and wanted a giant chocolate bar for breakfast (I did not indulge!), I knew what was going on!

Now, I still have the mixed emotions that I had last month, but I know that with time, all of this will get better. . .

Emotional Rollercoaster

I am a mess!

One minute I am sobbing, while the next I am laughing! One minute I am sitting nicely calm, cool, and collected, while the next I have to walk away from the situation or I will absolutely blow a fuse! What in the dickens could be going on?!?!?!

I have one remaining ovary, so could that one ovary just be adjusting to making enough hormones for both? Is my depression worsening? Is it all of the above? Who knows. . .

What I do know is that something has got to give soon. I can not continue with the non-stop crying or mood swings. . .

On a better note, the nerve block is appearing to help. The pain was VERY intense Wednesday, as predicted, and got a little better Thursday and Friday. Today, it seems to have increased a bit. I am hoping that it is not the steroids wearing off and just a result of overdoing it yesterday. . . Time will tell!

I am also realizing, that with the lessening of the pain on the right, that I am having the same pain on the left, although not nearly as severe. At least I know what it is though, and it will be an easy fix. I return to the Pain Management doc in just over a week and will bring that to his attention!

Good Times :-)

For the past 4 weeks, I have been looking for proof that my left ovary is working. If it chose to "shut down," like can sometimes happen, I would be forced into menopause as I can NOT take any form of hormones. . .

Well, a few days ago, I received that proof. I realized that I have PMS! Never in my 28 years, have I been so grateful for the cravings, bloating, mood swings, etc etc as I am this time. So, I am embracing this and beyond thrilled that what I thought might be hot flashes, really were not such!

I must admit though, as joyous as this was, it was SO hard at the same time. I knew that this PMS would be for nothing. That what would follow PMS, would not be happening. . . Granted, that time of the month (sorry to the men reading this!) was awful, but now, I will never have another one. . . I shared this with my doctor at my appointment on Wednesday and he made a statement that hit home. He said, "During the surgery you lost 15mL of blood, 3 tsp. That is not enough to need a blood transfusion, however your severe endometriosis, menometrorrhagia, and severe dysmenorrhea, that left you needing a transfusion. If you had not had a hysterectomy, we would have to start transfusing you more often."

So, while I am grateful that I will never need another transfusion due to my cycle and that my one ovary is working, I still mourn what is not there. . . What will never be there again. . .